


Heartstrings [Kirishima Ikuya x Reader]

by SilverStudios5140



Category: Free!
Genre: Dorks in Love, F/M, Falling In Love, First Relationship, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Happy, Ikuya had a crush on Haru in middle school, Inspired by Music, Jinguji Ren shows up like once, Post-Canon, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, music genius Reader, worrying about careers, young adult stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:15:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23579770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverStudios5140/pseuds/SilverStudios5140
Summary: In which (Y/n) knows exactly how to tug on Ikuya's heartstrings and he can't get enough of the feeling of drowning in her.
Relationships: Kirishima Ikuya & Tono Hiyori, Kirishima Ikuya/Reader, Kirishima Natsuya/Serizawa Nao
Comments: 7
Kudos: 53





	1. 1: ☆Enchanted☆

Planning anything, let alone a party, has never been one of Ikuya's favorite things to do. It's stressful work, and he'd much sooner be doing literally anything else, but for the sake of friendship, he tells himself to suck it up and get to work. 

Sure, he does find himself questioning his and Kisumi's friendship whenever the latter takes to annoying him (which is more often than Ikuya would've liked), but he's not that big of a jerk to not even take the effort and do something nice for the salmon-haired boy on his birthday.

At least he isn't the one left to do any of the _actual_ planning. Poor Makoto had ended up having to volunteer when Ikuya admitted his severe dislike for tasks involving management skills. 

No one trusts Asahi enough to let him be the one in charge because of how often his excitement gets the best of him. And, of course, Haru needs no mentioning. 

They know that Haruka cares about his friends, but his dislike for bothersome things puts Ikuya's own disdain for party-planning to shame. 

So while Makoto handles things like venue and catering and decorations with Haru's assistance, Asahi and Ikuya (reluctantly) agree to team up and prepare a guest list. 

The pair later realizes just how much of a Herculean task this is when they see the size of Kisumi's contact list. 

"I knew this guy was popular but..." Asahi trails off, his eyes as wide as saucers and a certain awe that borders on horror in his voice. 

Ikuya swallows. "What is this-- the entire population of Tokyo?" He pauses and scrolls further down, then adds, "Iwatobi too, by the looks of it." 

Setting the phone down like it's a ticking time bomb, Asahi rubs at his eyes. "We're gonna need a bigger party hall." 

"A stadium might do the trick," Ikuya suggests, only half sarcastic because they just might actually need to figure out how to rent a stadium. 

With a deep inhale, Asahi sits up straight, visibly pulling some determination out his seemingly infinite supply. "Right," he mutters, cracking his knuckles and rolling his shoulders, "we can do this. We push ourselves everyday. This is fine. Let's give Kisumi the best party ever!" 

Ikuya wants to argue-- this is definitely _not_ fine by his definition, and the challenge is beyond people as inpatient as the both of them are, but he holds his tongue and only scoots closer to peer at the offending phone screen. 

"How did you even get your hands on Kisumi's phone?" he asks after a moment, pausing in jotting down Kisumi's most frequently called's numbers. 

Sheepishly, Asahi rubs the back of his neck. "I stole it when he wasn't paying attention. He has basketball practice for all of today, so he isn't gonna notice it missing until evening. I'll slip it back by then. Somehow. I hope." 

Ikuya stares for a long moment. "If we get arrested for this, I'll kill you," he says finally and Asahi immediately goes to protest loudly but is cut off by his sister bringing their drinks over to them. 

"What even are you both doing?" Akane asks, raising her eyebrows at them, which is how she often looks at her younger brother. 

Sighing, Asahi relays their problematic chore to her and she tilts her head. 

"Why don't you ask (L/n)-chan for help?" Akane asks, her tone suggesting that the both of them are stupid. She shakes her head at them and then leaves them to their own devices so she can check on the other patrons of the cafe.

Blinking in confusion, Ikuya turns to Asahi but the redhead is too busy slapping his own forehead and grumbling to himself to notice. 

"(L/n)?" Ikuya prompts, managing to get Asahi's attention. 

"She's Kisumi's childhood friend," the redhead states. "How come I didn't think of (Y/n)?" he mutters in contempt to himself. Asahi pauses, looking at Ikuya with furrowed brows. "You don't remember her? She was in Makoto's class during middle school. We hung out with her a few times during lunch, I think, but she mostly kept to Kisumi and Makoto from our group back then." 

Thinking back to middle school isn't really Ikuya's favorite thing to do, but he doesn't say that because he doesn't want to sound like he's guilting Asahi. He hadn't ever really bothered focusing on many people outside of the little circle their relay team formed and maybe a few other club members, but now that he's trying to recall, he thinks he can vaguely remember a girl with (h/c)-hair hanging around Kisumi when he wasn't with the boys. 

Probably the only reason he does remember her is because he had felt stunned that someone actually spent time with the salmon-haired boy without the latter basically forcing himself into an unrelenting presence.

"I think I do," he says slowly. "Are they still close?" 

Asahi waves his hand. "Oh, yeah. If anyone knows who Kisumi would like at his party, it's (Y/n)."

Resting his arms on the table, Ikuya raises an eyebrow. "Sounds like you're pretty close with her as well."

"You bet!" The answer is instantaneous and accompanied by a wide grin. "Kisumi and I kept in touch even after I moved away, so naturally, (Y/n) just kind of got added to the mix. We hang out sometimes-- the three of us. She's really cool." 

_'When do you even get the time?'_ Ikuya wants to ask, but refrains. It's not like he'd know much about maintaining long-distance friendships. He's never had to, especially not when he had been so insistent on isolating himself because he thought it would make him stronger.

Before Ikuya can even process it, his redheaded friend is enthusiastically typing away on his phone, presumably asking this (L/n) (Y/n) for her help. When Asahi looks up grinning, Ikuya knows they're saved. 

He smiles. "Success?"

Asahi nods, looking pleased with himself. "With (Y/n)'s help, we'll be done in no time. She says she can come over now." His grin falters when he catches sight of the flash if discomfort across Ikuya's face. "You haven't met her in forever, right? It's okay if you don't want to. I'm sure we'll be able to sort it out." 

As grateful as Ikuya is for Asahi's consideration, he hesitates. "Won't that be rude?" He bites his lip, fiddling with his fingers. 

But he can already imagine how awkward it'll be if he stays. Asahi and this girl are obviously fairly good friends, which makes Ikuya the odd one out and he's bad enough with people when he isn't feeling extra uncomfortable. 

"(Y/n) doesn't even know you're here. If you leave, it won't be a big deal." Asahi shrugs. "It's cool either way. If you wanna stay, she'll be fine with that too."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Ikuya stands up, fluidly putting the money down for his drink and gathering his stuff. "Thanks, Asahi," he says. Neither of them are usually this kind to each other, but Asahi's looking out for Ikuya right now and he can appreciate that without being a total jerk-face. 

With a wide smile, Asahi flashes Ikuya a peace sign and that's all before the latter exits the establishment with a wave goodbye to Akane.

"I guess I'll be on decoration duty then," Ikuya mutters to himself as he texts Makoto. It's practically a consolation to not have to put himself out of his comfort zone. 

Silently, he utters his thanks to whoever this (L/n) girl is for getting him out of guest list duty. He doesn't know her, but he decides that if and when he does meet her, he'll figure out a way to make it up to her. 

* * *

Ikuya finds himself a little (very much) dazed for a good portion of Kisumi's party. 

To begin with, he hasn't even been to very many parties in his lifetime, which sounds sad now, but at the time had been a good decision for the sake of his swimming career. The few parties he did attend were for the sake of attending, wherein he spent most of his time lingering around the outskirts of the crowd and then left as soon as he could.

For once, however, he finds himself at the center of it, at the very heart of all the warmth and noise, and he thinks his chest might explode from all the euphoria he's experiencing. Joy is such a beautiful emotion once he allows himself to feel it. And in the moment, with the candles illuminating some of his favorite people, off-key singing and noisemakers in the background, and brilliant smiles on everyone's faces, Ikuya lets himself laugh and smile with them. 

The cake is sweet. The company is sweeter. 

But once the euphoria has died down, the group ends up splitting and Ikuya gravitates towards the chairs placed by the walls of the small party hall they'd rented. As usual, he finds himself hanging around the corners, swimming in the isolation he has created for himself. 

This is fun too, though, he decides. There's a vague sense of belonging in this room even as the familiar unsurety rears its ugly head. Ikuya is still a little tentative around any of his friends that aren't Hiyori. It's something he's been working on, but any process of healing is slow, and he admits to himself that every so often he faces little setbacks that he's trying so hard to beat.

With an unopened can of diet cola in hand, he finds himself studying the occupants of the room. Haruka's impassive face as he listens to Makoto and Asahi's animated chatter, the flush of Kisumi's face from the glow of happiness that doesn't leave him, someone sneaking away like Ikuya has done on more than one occasion before, and a pair of (e/c) eyes that meet his from across the room. 

The contact is so sudden that Ikuya flinches in surprise, and the girl he locked eyes with looks amused at his reaction. Or, well, he thinks she does. It's hard to see much of her across the room when her side is so poorly illuminated.

Under normal circumstances, he would've looked away before things got awkward or he got deemed a creep, but the girl doesn't look away either and he's intrigued enough to hold her gaze just to see where this goes. 

They stay like that for a minute or two, and Ikuya doesn't understand what he's expecting out of this aside from a brief form of entertainment, but he definitely isn't expecting the girl to stand up and start making her way across the room to him.

As she nears, he can practically read the curiosity in her eyes, and wonders if they're mirroring his own in the silent questions they ask that he cannot decipher. 

"Hello," the girl says when she's reached him, a small smile accentuating the pretty features that he couldn't make out from across the prior distance between them. 

There's no more distance now. She sits beside him, looking absolutely at ease with herself, so much so that he wants to ask how she does it, but he finds himself distracted by the strange familiarity about her that nags at his brain. 

"Not to sound like a flirt," Ikuya begins hesitantly, "but have we ever met before?" 

The girl inclines her head and studies him for a second before nodding. 

"I think so," she says. "Weren't you at Iwatobi Junior High?" When he nods, she hums, closing her eyes like she's in deep concentration before she snaps to attention with a self-satisfied grin that has him watching her expressions change in fascination. "Kirishima-kun, was it?" 

He blinks and nods. "Kirishima Ikuya," he supplies, just in case she doesn't remember. He bites his lip uncertainly before venturing, "(L/n)-san, right?" 

Honestly, he doesn't remember too much, and he prays that he's right so he doesn't have to face the horrifying awkwardness of getting her name wrong. 

But she smiles and nods, laughing under her breath when he visibly relaxes in relief next to her. 

"It sure has been a while, huh, Kirishima-kun?" She leans back in her seat, looking so unaffected by the atmosphere of the party that Ikuya wonders how he _hadn't_ noticed her before. "Kisumi told me you moved to America after middle school. Must've been fun."

He glances at her from the corner of his eye and shrugs. "I wouldn't call it fun so much as a learning experience," he corrects and frowns in confusion when her lips twitch in amusement.

"That feels like a very fitting answer for you, Kirishima-kun," she remarks, and his eyebrows rise. 

"Are you suggesting that I'm predictable?" Ikuya asks, playfulness that he doesn't usually express around strangers making an appearance in a move that is uncharacteristic of him. 

But (Y/n) grins. "I wouldn't dream of it," she assures, grin widening when he snorts in disbelief of her statement. 

"You're a childhood friend of Kisumi's, right, (L/n)-san?" he asks after a moment. "Shouldn't you be hanging out with him instead of lingering around the edge of the room?" 

She hums in consideration. "Probably," she concedes, "but this isn't really my scene. Kisumi knows as much. He was surprised I showed up at all instead of visiting him during the day instead. I'm not particularly used to being around so many strangers." 

He nods. Ikuya can relate to that, and when he tells her as much, she shoots him a quick smile that manages to make him feel at ease. The vague sense of belonging becomes clearer with this stranger as they make remarks and counters like it's some sort of game between them. 

It's fun, he thinks, and hands (Y/n) his still unopened can of cola, remembering that he had wanted to thank her for being the reason he got out of having to make a guest list with Asahi. However, as they easily converse now (which Ikuya believes is no easy feat when he is involved), he admits that had he stayed that day, it wouldn't have been as awful as he feared then. 

When it's time for him to go so he can still get a bit of an early start the next morning, Ikuya goes to inform Kisumi and bid all his friends goodbye, the warmth of his connection with all of them enveloping him like a blanket of comfort. 

Not for the first time, Ikuya wishes he'd seen sense earlier and let them into his life sooner. He thinks he might've been happier now if he had done so. 

"Heading out?" (Y/n) asks when he returns to his seat at the edge, a pleasant smile greeting him and adding to the warmth in him. 

Ikuya nods in response, and she stands as well, walking him to the exit in a silence during which he wonders if she plans on leaving with him. 

"I'm no good at saying goodbyes," she says finally, an honest little glimmer in her eye that he thinks is cute. "I never know what to say." 

He tilts his head as he considers this. "Is that why you're walking me to the exit?" 

(Y/n) makes a noncommittal sound. "Actually, I figured I may as well leave too. I love Kisumi, but I've stayed past my limit and schedule allow."

"You must be busy most of the time." She'd already told him that she didn't attend university because she had gone to a specialized school for performing arts and straight to work as a music producer after graduating. Ikuya gets why Asahi said she's incredibly cool. 

"I am, but it's not so bad," she offered with a shrug. "It could be worse. At least I'm not an idol-- those poor kids barely have time to breathe, and they can't even show how tired they are to the public." 

He hums, even though he doesn't know a whole lot about idols and their lifestyles. But he guesses that some of them might be friends of hers and that she's expressing genuine concern for them, so he lets her. 

"Well, Kirishima-kun," (Y/n) says, dropping her arms to her sides with a sense of finality as she offers him an awkward little smile that he returns. "This is it, I guess. I had fun hanging out with you tonight, so thanks for saving me from a possibly boring birthday party." 

Rubbing at the back of his neck, he nods in acknowledgment. "No problem. You kept me company too, after all. I guess, I'll see you around, (L/n)-san." 

And that's it. They turn their backs to each other and head in opposite directions, having said their goodbyes to conclude the nice time they'd had together, but something doesn't quite sit right with Ikuya. 

It feels incomplete somehow. Like he ought to have said or heard something, but he can't figure it out so he keeps walking. 

Until she calls out his name, that is, making him whirl around with wide eyes to be faced with her standing some 20 feet away, grinning brightly at him before she says something that immediately clicks into the place that had been feeling hollow, making him smile with flushed cheeks. 

"It was enchanting to meet you!"


	2. 2: •There's No Way•

"Please, Ikuya, I'm begging you!" Kisumi pleads on the other end of the line, and Ikuya sighs, running a hand through his hair. 

Finally, his shoulders slump and he exhales slowly. "Alright. I'll head over now, but you owe me a slice of pistachio cream cake," he informs his friend and receives a rush of thanks before Kisumi hangs up and Ikuya is left with an errand to run. 

He doesn't really mind. His last lecture for the day just ended and they have a day off from practice. Usually, he would head over for extra practice of his own, but he tells himself he'll do that after he carries out this little favor to Kisumi. 

All Ikuya has to do is head over to Asahi's sister's cafe, pick up the notebook that actually belongs to (Y/n) but had been left with Kisumi, and then deliver it to the girl because she needs it urgently for her work. 

Which is all fine until he's standing outside of Shining Agency with the black leather-bound notebook in hand, wondering if they'll even let him into the building that seems to literally be shining while he very much looks like the disgruntled college kid he is. 

Heaving a heavy sigh, Ikuya pictures the cake he'll be eating soon enough and talks himself into entering the building, shuffling towards the reception with all the uncertainty he's ever felt lingering around him because he so obviously doesn't belong among the fancy suits or branded clothing. 

"How may I help you?" the receptionist asks with a blinding smile, but she looks like she's trying to remember if he's someone important or not. 

Maybe idols sometimes dress like students? 

Ikuya holds up the notebook. "I'm here to return this to (L/n) (Y/n)," he says, but it almost sounds like a question and Ikuya clears his throat in hopes to physically dislodge his awkwardness like it's a lump in his throat. 

The lady nods, smiling politely. "Why don't you have a seat while I ask (L/n)-san to come see you?" she suggests, and he nods and makes a beeline for the nearest chair, wishing he could literally melt into it when some of the fancy adults around him look at him judgementally. 

It's a long wait and Ikuya comes dangerously close to running towards his savior when she steps out of the elevator and immediately finds his desperate gaze, offering a pleasant smile that puts some part of him at ease. 

"Thank you so much, Kirishima-kun," (Y/n) says in a rush of thankfulness, taking her notebook from him and holding it close to her. "You've basically just saved my life." 

He chuckles, playing with his earlobe to give himself something to do. "It's no big deal," he assures her. "I should, uh, go now. You're probably busy, and I'd hate to keep you from something important." 

(Y/n) shifts. "Are _you_ busy right now?" she asks instead and when he shakes his head, she smiles. "I'd like to treat you to lunch then. As a compensation, if you want to think of it as such. I mean, I do have a recording scheduled right now for guide vocals, but if you don't mind waiting for that to wrap up, then we can head out right after." 

He can feel the heat rising to his face, and Ikuya can only pray that his face doesn't start turning pink. He clears his throat again. "I wouldn't want to get in your way or be a bother." 

"You wouldn't be doing any of that," she assures gently. "That's why I offered. Come on," she adds, grabbing the edge of the sleeve of his cardigan and tugging on it to lead him back to the elevators. "Shining Agency can be strict with its idols, but for those of us who primarily work behind the scenes, it's a pretty relaxed workplace," she tells him. "The kind where it's acceptable to work in pajamas as long as you're producing results." 

He's a little surprised considering the fancy people in the lobby, but then he supposes that if they worked in the building, they wouldn't have been waiting in the first place. 

"That's cool," he says sincerely. "Are a lot of the employees your age?" 

(Y/n) nods. "Almost everyone here is a graduate from Saotome Academy, so we get new idols and composers every year. Once they get older, more experienced and reputed, most producers and composers prefer to branch off to better opportunities-- in another agency or a company of their own." 

Ikuya shuffles a little when the elevator doors open to let someone else in-- a tall boy with shoulder length strawberry blonde hair and icy eyes that warm slightly when they land on (Y/n), a sign of obvious familiarity between the two. 

"Oh, hi, Ren," she greets, smiling toothily at the boy who Ikuya is 78% sure is an idol. "I didn't think you'd be here today. Aren't you supposed to be in a photoshoot?" 

The boy hums, smiling with a confident ease that instantly makes Ikuya envious. "It's been postponed. I dropped by to talk to the Little Lamb about a new song she has for me." 

While Ikuya mentally repeats 'Little Lamb' in his head, Ren's eyes land on him, coolly regarding him in a way that kind of makes the swimmer feel like a gerbil standing next to the model. Ikuya looks to (Y/n), silently hoping she'll pick up on his SOS before his self-esteem drops any further, and miraculously, she does almost immediately. 

"Ren, meet Kirishima Ikuya," she introduces quickly. "Kirishima-kun, this is Jinguji Ren of ST☆RISH-- an up and coming rookie boy group." 

While Ikuya utters a soft 'Nice to meet you', Ren turns to (Y/n) with a playful smirk in place. 

"I wasn't aware you had a boyfriend, Little Lady," he prods, his voice the closest a human could get to a purr. "A very good looking one at that," he adds before turning to Ikuya. "Are you training to become an idol?"

For a moment, Ikuya's flattered that such a handsome idol thinks that he has idol worthy visuals, and (Y/n) beats him to a response in his moment of distraction. 

She clears her throat, glancing impatiently at the numbers going by for their stop on the twentieth floor. "We're friends, Ren," she explains shortly. "And Kirishima-kun is a student with a strong ambition to swim on the global platform." 

Before Ren can say anything, the elevator doors open to their floor and Ikuya is being hustled out by (Y/n) as she mutters a quick goodbye to the obviously amused idol. She doesn't slow her pace until they enter what looks like an ordinary recording studio, which gives Ikuya very little time to process much of anything aside from how plush the carpet in the hall is and that (Y/n) has one hell of a strong grip given how easily she hauled him by the arm. 

"Is he always like that?" he ventures from his seat next to her while she opens several files on the large monitor, opening a program for creating music from what Ikuya can tell with all his inexperience. 

She pauses. "Only with certain people he likes annoying," (Y/n) answers. "He can come off as this suave playboy character, and I guess he'd be charming if I took him seriously, but I also know that Ren is a good friend and hopeless when he actually has a crush." 

He hums, folding his arms and leaning back in his chair. All the equipment makes him a little nervous, the silly fear that he might accidentally break something making him paranoid.

Beside him, (Y/n) chuckles and when he turns to her, she's already looking at him.

"Relax," she says, drawing the word out lazily. "I'm not putting you in there, am I?" She jerks her head towards the recording booth they can see through the big window separating both the rooms. 

Ikuya shudders at the thought. "I can't sing for my life," he warns her. "You shouldn't even think about putting me in there." 

Eyebrow rising, she narrows her eyes. "Now I want to hear you sing just to see how bad you are."

He laughs under his breath. "Okay, sure," he drawls sarcastically. He doesn't want to argue but he can't resist rolling his eyes when she looks at him, faking being displeased with the arrangement.

This is easy, he reflects. Spending time with her even though they're barely more than strangers isn't as hard as he usually finds it with his peers. To be fair, Ikuya spends most of his time around emotional swimmers who all seem connected somehow. 

(Y/n), on the other hand, feels like a breath of fresh air from his small world. She wears an easy smile and an air of relaxed poise that puts him at ease too. Besides, she seems to be able to pick up on his mood and thoughts without much trouble at all, and he feels grateful for that because the universe knows Ikuya isn't the _best_ at communication. 

He decides that if he stays in her company long enough, they'll make good friends. From the familiarity between them, he can predict a future bond that he looks forward to developing. 

Maybe he should've paid more attention to her in middle school. Or maybe not. It would've been one more friendship he messed up by being too caught up in himself. At least he's getting to know her now that he's grown past that.

"What was your first impression of me?" Ikuya asks as the thought occurs to him, flushing slightly when she blinks and turns to him thoughtfully. 

(Y/n) hums under her breath. "I don't remember you much from middle school at all, honestly," she admits, "but my first thought at the party was that you looked like someone I'd like to get to know." 

Ikuya doesn't know why her words affect him as strangely as they do, especially when she flashes him a careless smile that briefly makes him forget to exhale. 

Luckily, he's saved from having to think of how to respond to that by the door opening to reveal the boy (Y/n) had chosen as her guide vocalist for the song she reveals is for a Korean boy group's Japanese album. 

As a producer, even Ikuya can tell how efficient and simultaneously demanding she is. As the maker of the song, she has a vision for it, and she expects nothing less than what she has in mind from every aspect of it, including something as trivial as the guide vocals. Ichinose Tokiya is a very competent singer (and it's obvious to just about everyone), but (Y/n) demands proof of his ability even from a song that isn't for him. 

It's a little startling to be sitting opposite her in the Agency's cafeteria, her personality going back to the laid back nature he's come to associate with her. 

"You're really..." Ikuya trails off, searching for the right word around his mouthful of food. 

(Y/n) puts down her chopsticks. "Demanding? Bossy?" she supplies, her tone almost sarcastic, like it's something she's been told before and finds no amusement in. Unintelligent men will always try to put down an authoritative woman, and maybe she's been a victim of that more than once.

But he only shakes his head. "Professional," Ikuya settles. "It's surprising to see someone my age having a job that they have such a ambitious attitude towards. Like you're obviously giving everything your hundred percent and so it's natural to expect that from your colleagues." He shrugs. That's how it works on the swim team at least, so it makes sense to him. 

Disagreements happen when people put in different levels of effort, and the ones who put in more expect more in return. In a team, being on the same frequency is essential for some semblance to harmony between the swimmers. 

"It's admirable, (L/n)-san," he tells her. 

(Y/n) watches him for a small moment, and then her lips curve upwards in a smile that is different from the ones he's seen from her so far. 

This is only the second time he's meeting her, he has to remind himself, but it doesn't really feel like that. He feels like he has already connected with her somehow.

"You can call me by my first name, you know," she says finally, picking her chopsticks up again. "All my friends do."

Ikuya swallows before he's quite done chewing. "Sure." He coughs. "Let's do that. Friends." 

She laughs, and he's caught for a moment by the sound of it and the look of absolute softness she gives him right after, like she knows something he doesn't. "Friends."


	3. 3: ○° Floating °○

The clock is ticking and, aside from the sounds of his breathing and the rustling of his sheets everytime he shifts, it's the only sound permeating the 2 a.m. silence of Ikuya's room. 

It might've begun grating on his nerves had he not been so lost in his own thoughts, practically impervious to everything else around him. The only thing that is bothering him is the center of what his mind is currently circling around. 

The center being (L/n) (Y/n). 

Strangely enough, Ikuya feels like he's swimming in some expanse of all things (Y/n), drowning in every second he has thus far spent in her presence and finding that he doesn't quite mind this particular kind of drowning because he _wants_ to get lost in the thought of her and he doesn't understand why. 

For whatever reason, Ikuya finds himself revisiting every moment she has drawn out an inexplicable warmth from within him. He feels like his ribs are constricting around a star he has managed to swallow, placid and panicked all at once. 

It's simultaneously too much and not enough, and he wonders if he's harboring a new addicting. 

Something about the way she just always seems to know which buttons to push in order to put him in a daze is catching up to him in this state of being half awake and half lost in a dream. 

His heart is beating loudly in the silence of the room, but Ikuya feels oddly calm. He doesn't mind giving into this buzz. It's almost intoxicating.

He worries himself into a frazzled state the next day, afraid that he'll be unable to act normal around her because of his turbulent thoughts that just so happen to keep going back to her even after a restless night of the same. 

But it's as easy as it always is, and he knows this the instant she walks through the door of the cafe they're meeting at (one that is close to the university and the agency where she had a meeting with some idol or the other for a song), bringing with her a rush of calm that settles deep into his bones like morphine and reminds him how to breathe again.

Ikuya finds himself wondering of what it would be like to feel like he has swallowed a cloud all the time, because that state of euphoric calm and tranquility is something he has only ever felt around her. 

_'What would it be like to be yours?'_ he asks her mentally, and she smiles-- the ghost of it curving her lips, sweet as honey-- like she has heard him anyways. 

Sometimes, Ikuya does question if maybe she can read his mind. He hopes not, flushing slightly because it would be awfully embarrassing if she heard his sappy sentiments at this very instant. 

Maybe he's falling sick? It would explain what he's feeling since he could well be hallucinating. 

"How are you, Ikuya?" Her words are always carefully pronounced and spoken with a fond softness when she's talking to him, almost like she's singing herself. 

He sighs, fingers tapping against the sides of his glass of water. "I'm not sure," he admits honestly. "I've been feeling weird since yesterday." 

Concern fills her face and she reaches across to feel hos forehead. "You don't _feel_ feverish," she mutters, but it's more directed at herself than him. "What are your symptoms?" 

Swallowing, he shakes his head. Ikuya thinks he might already know his ailment, and he's sure he doesn't want (Y/n) knowing just yet. 

He doesn't know much about love at all, honestly. So far, Ikuya hasn't allowed himself any time to linger over trivial things like that. He had a goal burning in his mind, and he chased it relentlessly, barely taking the time to breathe, let alone allow someone close enough to him to _feel_ for them. 

But he doesn't know why else he's so nervous right now, or why he has her on repeat in his head, why he looks forward to her messages and every excuse he can get to see her. 

It's in the way her hands brush against his when he's walking her back to the Agency, and how she gently grips his forearm to guide him through the crowds, never letting him away from her side. Her touches are fleeting and careless but Ikuya feels like time stops everytime. 

He has never wanted to live forever, but for every moment he spends with (Y/n), he might make an exception. 

Funny what liking someone will do to a person. 

"Ikuya," she's saying when he blinks back to attention, pronouncing his name with her usual precision, like it's something she wants to spend time on to perfect it. 

He loves it, he realizes. He likes the way she says his name slowly, her mouth shaping around it carefully and the way it makes a sense of serenity settle under his skin. 

She's still holding his arm, he realizes, holding his breath when her fingertips glide down the inner curve of his wrist to rest against his own fingers. (Y/n) watches him the entire time, gauging his reaction like she's searching for any sign of discomfort because Ikuya knows she values and respects his boundaries. 

The skinship doesn't bother him. He feels goosebumps rise where her touch lingers and he's captivated by the way their fingers are lace together. 

Her eyes are gleaming, catching the light of the day and alight with contentment as she searches for something in his own orbs. When she seemingly finds it, something slots into place between them and Ikuya can breathe again. 

The connection is almost stellar. 

He feels like he's dreaming again, and she laughs when he voices his strange recent detachment from reality. 

He thinks she's beautiful. 

For a crazy second, Ikuya feels like he can do anything. In the very next, he forgets everything else and finds himself able to only smile while she chatters on about a new song she wants to start working on. While she's discussing percussion, he can only hear the pounding of his own heart. 

In this moment, his thoughts finally come to a stop when she smiles at him again, and he's stunned by how much she's able to express with just the curve of her lips and the warmth in the contours of her face. Just like that, everything makes sense to him, and Ikuya knows. 

All his love hers.


	4. 4: 《Livewire》

Ikuya hasn't ever had ideas about what paradise might be like, but laying beside (Y/n) on the hardwood floor of her small apartment feels like it might be it. 

The air is tangible with her scent and the words that don't need to be said between them, forming a lullaby that encourages him to close his eyes against the faint moonlight that filters in through her large windows and the city lights that can never be escaped in Tokyo. 

"This is nice," he murmurs, and she hums, agreeing. 

"Thanks for running an intervention," (Y/n) says softly. "I needed a break. I'm sorry for worrying all of you." 

There is a vulnerability in her voice that makes him open his eyes so he can look at her, even if she's avoiding his gaze. It's the effect of the silence that is only broken by the sounds of the city below them and the soft ticking of a clock somewhere in the studio apartment, an openness that results from the fact that it's a little past midnight and the momentary delusion that they are the centers of their universe. 

"It's okay," Ikuya whispers, even though it hadn't been when Kisumi had called him in an obviously worked up state because (Y/n) hadn't been answering his calls or messages for a few days now and the boy was worried she might be facing death or something.

He hadn't thought twice about joining the salmon-haired boy in hunting her down, discovering that she'd holed herself up and overworked herself beyond the state of exhaustion because she was in a creative bind and she had no time to be. But while Kisumi had taken his leave after giving her a stern talking to and restocking her fridge with something other than energy drinks and ramen (truly the foods of desperation), Ikuya had taken one look at her and softly asked if she'd like for him to stay. 

After all, Ikuya's no stranger to working himself to the bone even when his body is screaming in protest, and he knows how lonely that state of recklessness and despair can be. 

It's the first time he has ever seen her without her usual composure, and it's almost like a reminder that she, too, is a human and not some distant dream of his. 

"Just- " He pauses. Sighs. "Look after yourself more. Please." 

She exhales a laugh; a sad sound that lets him in on just how tired she is. "No promises, Ikuya," she says, "but I'll try." 

For the first time, he's the one to initiate contact in reaching for her hand and curling his pinky finger around hers. He doesn't say anything, and neither does she, but Ikuya catches the twitch of her lips and how much lighter even that barest show of joy makes her seem. 

Here, in her space, lying beside her and breathing among the faint sounds of Tokyo, Ikuya feels numb and hypersensitive all at once.

"Is work stressful right now?" he ventures into the silence, his voice reverberating off her walls and echoing in the quiet. 

(Y/n) plays with the fraying hem of her oversized T-shirt. "It always is," she admits quietly. "It's just so much worse when I can't produce satisfactory results no matter how hard I try. My brain feels frozen and it scares me because I can't have any drops in the quality of what I'm producing this early on in my career." 

It almost feels like a dam is being broken within her, and once the words start, she cannot stop them. Her concerns bewilder him because he has no idea on how to respond, but (Y/n) isn't looking to be consoled. She only wants someone to listen. 

And Ikuya loves listening to her, so he lets her speak and empty her heart's contents until she has to break for breath. 

"Do you know how hard it was just to get to this point?" she asks in a whisper once she has taken a moment to catch her bearings again. "Iwatobi has little to no musical exposure. Getting into Saotome Academy nearly killed me from the stress of the stupid entrance exam. And I've been competing ever since-- to graduate early, to stay on top during the Masters' course, to make a name for myself in this industry." Her voice cracks, and he can only hold her hand properly, squeezing to remind her that she doesn't have to keep this to herself. 

"It's like trying to fight the stars," she continues. "Reaching and struggling for this dream, fighting tooth and nail for my vision of success. To not fade away in the profession I have put everything at stake for." 

In his chest, he feels his own heart grow heavy under the waves of her words. It sounds like a tale similar to his own, and Ikuya wants to tell her as much, but he can't make the words come out the way he wants them to, so instead he asks, "Can I hold you?" 

(Y/n) turns to look at him, her thoughts and emotions unguarded and swirling in the light that reflects across her irises, open for him to decipher like stars he can string along to form constellations. He feels like he could spend hours just looking into her eyes, stargazing and searching for galaxies. 

"Okay," she whispers her consent, scooting closer to rest her head against his chest and wrap her arms around his waist, the closest she has ever been to him. 

His heart is thundering in his chest, and he knows she can hear it too, but (Y/n) sighs like she's finally at peace and her body relaxes under the palms of his hands, melting into him like she was always meant to be here.

They shuffle and shift until the both of them are comfortable, which starts somewhere with the both of them laying on their sides, her forehead just above where his heart is, and ends in a tangle of legs and absolute intimacy. 

It's so warm, Ikuya feels like everywhere her skin touches his is on fire, but if he could, he would live forever in this moment and try to count all the blinking lights he can see through the windows he is facing. Tranquility nestles within him-- the kind of peacefulness that he has begun finding underwater now that it's not an enemy for him to fight. 

"You must be so strong," he murmurs, trying to match his breathing to hers. 

He feels her muscles shift beneath his, and he can't tell if it's a scoff or a laugh. 

When she speaks, she just sounds sleepy. "It's just a series of lows sometimes, Ikuya. Each one higher than the last, but a low nonetheless. It's something I've always had to battle alone." 

"I don't want you to be alone anymore." The words leave him before he can process what he has said, and a zealous blush settles across his cheeks in the aftermath. But for all his embarrassment, when she raises her head so she can gaze into his eyes searchingly, he meets her stare head on, summoning bravery he does not have, holding his breath. 

She shifts closer, if it's even possible, and Ikuya swallows, feeling like he might start trembling. "Do you think you can take me higher, Ikuya?" 

It's an honest question, not a challenge. She asks like she believes he could, but wants to know if he thinks the same. 

"I think," he starts, and then pauses. Frowns. Starts over. "I think I want to try." 

His answer brings a smile to her face, and he marvels at the fact that she manages a conversation without words with just a simple quirk of her mouth. Her eyes are gleaming, and she's so close that he can pick out every single color in them. 

"You have beautiful eyes," she tells him, awe in her voice, and he gulps when her fingers reach up to brush his hair away, resting against his cheeks with a featherweight touch. 

He doesn't know what to say, how to process this situation he is in, even if he does relish in the warmth it brings him. He can feel the heat rise to his face, and he's sure that if there was better lighting, his blush would be clear for her to see. 

Clearing his throat, he raises his eyebrows, a poor attempt at ignoring the tingles going down his spine and the pounding of his heart. "Are you flirting with me?" he asks her, trying for a playful tone that doesn't sound convincing at all, even to him. 

But (Y/n) smiles. "I have been for a while in case you haven't noticed." 

The candor in her voice only flusters Ikuya more and his words get jumbled in his head, breath catching in his throat when her fingertips settle against the side of his throat, right above his pulse. 

"Your heart is beating so fast," she observes, voice hushed and almost lost in the sound of the blood rushing through his ears. "Am I making you nervous, Ikuya?" 

He breathes in slowly. "You always do," Ikuya admits, wanting to hide but finding it impossible to look away when she's looking at him like he's something magical and impossibly precious and she can't believe she's holding him even as he basically puts his heart in her hands. 

"You make me feel like I'm on fire," he adds, furrowing his brows because that doesn't sound quite right, and it's frustrating to not even get his message across properly when he's finally doing it. 

But that has never been a problem with her. (Y/n) understands everything he says and doesn't, and she gently massages the tension out of his brow, twirling a lock of his hair around her finger in fascination. 

"You're my livewire," she whispers to him, and it makes infinitely more sense than what he had said earlier, leaving Ikuya in awe of her mind and the fact that she's calling _him_ the thing that works as her conductor of joy and strength. 

He's beyond moved by the sincerity in her words and gaze, unable to comprehend that he means that much to this girl he's known for more than a few months now and come to adore in that time. A year ago, Ikuya could never have imagined getting to share this moment of utmost intimacy and vulnerability with anyone, and he has to marvel at the girl in his arms. 

He doesn't know what to say anymore, their confessions having drained him of his limited conversing skills for the moment. "Can I kiss you?" he asks instead, swallowing the flush of embarrassment that comes with it and focusing instead on how the brightness of her grin practically lights up the otherwise dark room.

In response, (Y/n) leans forwards and closes the minimal gap between them, kissing Ikuya slowly, taking her time in moving her lips against his, and he only has to lose himself in the empty buzz of his head and the white spots erupting behind his closed eyelids like blooming constellations or sparks of electricity. 

Kissing her feels like stopping time. It leaves him feeling powerful and stripped down to his rawest form all at once, the euphoria of which makes him dizzy. He wonders if she can taste his racing heartbeat, the fragility, and the stars he feels like he has swallowed. 

When she pulls away, he's so disoriented, it takes him a second to remember how to breathe again before he gets lost in the warmth of her eyes and her touch again. 

Ikuya feels like he's drowning slowly in (Y/n), and he doesn't think he ever wants to stop.


	5. 5: ◇▪Adventure of a Lifetime▪◇

A practice tournament between Hidaka and Shimogami University shouldn't really be a big deal, and on any other day, Ikuya doesn't think he would have been all that bothered. He rarely gets nervous before official tournaments themselves because that throws off his flow and speed, but right now, he finds his nerves acting up just a bit, purely because this is the first time he'll be swimming competitively in front of (Y/n). 

He's a little excited too, naturally, wanting to show his skills off to his girlfriend and impress her even though he knows he doesn't have to. (Y/n) has told him before that she's sufficiently impressed by his reputation as it is, but he wants to live up to that. 

It also has to do something with the fact that Natsuya has decided to drop by as well, and one look at his brother tells Ikuya that the elder male is contemplating challenging everyone present to a race. 

As he stretches, his gaze wanders over to her and she meets his eye from where she's perched on the bleachers off to the side, immediately perking up and waving. He smiles, waving back and then straightening when she abandons her seat and makes a beeline for him, dodging other swimmers who glance at her curiously. 

They don't get a lot of girls visiting their practice, especially pretty ones who don't attend at either university. Moreover, Ikuya's among the least likely to be seen with pretty girls willingly approaching him because apparently he looks unwelcoming or something. 

That's what Hiyori claims at least. Needless to say, he had been more surprised than was considered inoffensive when he found out that Ikuya had actually gotten a girlfriend. 

A partner as amazing as (Y/n) at that. 

"You look distracted, Ikuya," she points out, clasping her hands behind her back and glancing at the pool that is unoccupied for the moment. 

He hums, deciding that it would be futile to deny it. Ikuya has made it a point to be as honest as he can be in his first proper relationship. He wants to do this right. 

"A little bit," he admits, rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't want to end up looking like a loser in front of you."

(Y/n) shoots him a look that makes him want to dive out of sight. "I doubt that'll happen," she says plainly. "I've seen you swim, just not in a race. Even a total swimming noob can see that you're good. You just have to turn that magic of yours on and swim for it." 

She punctuates her statement with a wink that makes him laugh just as much as it embarrasses him. 

"If you want magical, you should see Haru swim. It's almost captivating." Ikuya will always admire Haruka's way in the water, but he no longer feels such a deep envy or resentment of his own skills. He means it genuinely when he says that Haru's style is just visually drawing because of the latter's love for water and not competition. 

But (Y/n) raises her eyebrows like she's thoroughly amused. "I can't believe my boyfriend is encouraging my being captivated by other males." 

Ikuya frowns. "On second thought, maybe you should completely ignore Haru." 

This makes her snort abruptly and hunch over in laughter, bringing a smile to Ikuya's face because he's proud of himself every time he manages to make her laugh. 

"Flirting in public, Ikuya?" Asahi flings an arm around Ikuya's shoulders, startling the couple because neither had been aware of Hidaka U's arrival. "You rascal." 

(Y/n) grins at the redhead. "I haven't seen you in a while, Asahi," she greets, the both of them high-fiving while Ikuya struggles to maintain his balance with Asahi's added weight. 

"I wasn't flirting," the teal-haired boy grumbles, catching his partner's empathetic smile. 

Hiyori finally makes his reappearance since he left a few minutes ago in search of a water bottle. "You haven't gotten any smarter since the last time I saw you," he notes, his usual passive smile on his face as he comes to stop next to (Y/n). 

In hindsight, Ikuya sees why some people think his best friend is an asshole. 

While Asahi protests loudly, ignoring (Y/n)'s request to please release her boyfriend, Haruka joins the group, although he keeps looking at the pool like he'd much rather be there rather in human company. 

"Are Makoto and Kisumi going to drop by later?" the (h/c)-haired girl asks. "Or am I gonna be alone on the bleachers?" 

"Natsuya-nii will probably join you in a bit," Ikuya informs, watching (Y/n)'s lips press together in what he thinks is a sign of nervousness. 

Hiyori notices, too, and he glances at Ikuya like he finds all of this particularly entertaining (which he probably does). But as a good friend, he steps in and asks the Hidaka University kids if they don't have to stretch or something and that their captain is looking for them, physically escorting Asahi away to give Ikuya some space with (Y/n). 

"Are you nervous about meeting my brother?" he asks, and he wants to take her hand but he doesn't think he's quite comfortable with that just yet. 

(Y/n) smiles sheepishly. "That obvious?" 

He smiles back, hoping it's reassuring. "Just a guess," he corrects. "Don't worry about him. Just be yourself, and he's sure to love you. And don't be too startled-- my brother can be a bit much sometimes, but he's a good guy. You make me happy, so he'll be fine." 

The admittance sends color to both of their cheeks and she smiles at him, sweet as honey, her eyes becoming crescent moons. But it's an undeniable truth-- (Y/n) makes Ikuya feel _alive_ like he has never felt before. 

With resolve written in the expression on her face, she holds her fist out. "We're legends in the making," she says. "We can do this." 

He thinks it's amusing, but he bumps his fist against hers and watches her turn and head back to the bleachers just in time for the captains and coaches to call for both the teams' attention to officially start their joint practice. Excitement begins buzzing in the air, rivals finding each other and ensuing challenges. 

Heart beating with a new vigor, Ikuya tells Haru he won't lose, grinning all the while. From the corner of his eye, he sees Natsuya approach (Y/n), but he doesn't worry. There's no need to. He knows that Natsuya will find no fault in her, even if the elder doesn't know that she makes Ikuya forget how to breath and fills him with life at the same time. 

(Y/n) doesn't scream her support, and he's grateful for that because he teammates would never let him live it down. But Ikuya knows she's silently cheering him on, so he does his best to not disappoint her hopes, pushing himself to cut through the water, feeling his heart beating and the blood flowing, relishing in the euphoria of just being alive and a little bit in love. 

He doesn't beat Haru, but he comes damn close to it, and he can see (Y/n) grinning hard enough to give the sun a run for its money. She's probably just said something witty or ridiculous because Natsuya is turning red in the face from trying to hold his laughter in the seat next to hers, and (Y/n) looks as pleased with herself as she does proud of Ikuya. 

When she flashes him a thumbs up, he grins back at her. 

Later, Natsuya claps him on the shoulder and tells him to look after (Y/n) because she's a good kid and will do well for Ikuya. He sees Hiyori nudge her and mouth 'I told you so', and Ikuya smiles because his world feels perfect in that moment, knowing that all the people who are most important to him also get along well with each other.

"I can't believe you got hitched before me," Natsuya says, grinning shamelessly and ruffling Ikuya's hair as the latter immediately turns red. 

Struggling under Natsuya'a stubborn grip, Ikuya whines, "Don't say it like that!" 

His brother laughs and steps back. "I'm meeting with Nao in a bit," Natsuya informs. "I'll see you later, little brother." And with a wave over his shoulder, he heads out

"Natsuya-san is such a whirlwind," Hiyori comments with a sigh as he and (Y/n) approach Ikuya. "He comes so suddenly and it disorients you so bad, you don't even realize when he's already leaving again. I pity whoever he ends up with."

(Y/n) inclines her head. "Really?" she poses. "I thought he was cool. He's a wild storyteller, that's for sure. And I didn't even spend that long a time with him."

"He's wild. Period." Hiyori snorts, and exchanges a grin with (Y/n).

Ikuya watches the both of them, amused. "When did you two start getting along so well?" he asks, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows at them. 

Between the two of them, Hiyori is unarguably the one who's more confident at socializing. However, the brunet doesn't make friends all that easily in spite of this, preferring to stick with Ikuya and maintaining a distance with most other people. But Hiyori seems to genuinely be getting along with (Y/n) quite nicely, and of course it makes Ikuya extremely happy to see his best friend so relaxed around his girlfriend because it's not something Hiyori does around just anyone. 

It goes to say just how special (Y/n) must be. 

Hiyori raises an eyebrow. "Since you tricked us into going to dinner with you without telling either of us that the other would be present," he reminds curtly, and (Y/n) snorts at the saltiness in his tone. 

"Will you ever let that go?" Ikuya rolls his eyes. 

The other boy doesn't respond to this, only shooting Ikuya a look that says this issue will not be forgotten any time soon (probably not for all of eternity), and walks away after mentioning something about his water bottle. 

Chuckling under her breath, (Y/n) turns to Ikuya, her smile softening with something rosy and absolutely affectionate. "Shall we head out as well?" she suggests, nodding towards the exit. 

"Sure. Let me go get changed first," Ikuya says, ignoring her comment about not minding even if he decided to head out shirtless to tell her he'd be out in a couple of minutes, stubbornly fighting off the blush that is a result of (Y/n)'s crass flirting. 

_'You're dating her,'_ he reminds himself, but it's entirely unhelpful when she makes him as nervous as she does even if he is a little more comfortable around her and her affectionate tendencies now that he doesn't have to swing between the dilemma of hope and cynicism of her returning his feeling. _'Why is she like this?'_ is his next thought, but even as he thinks it, Ikuya can't keep himself from smiling because she has him so enthralled by everything she does.

Being in a relationship is a great big adventure, and typically, Ikuya wouldn't be big on the idea of one of those, but (Y/n) makes him want to be brave and run head-first into whatever awaits them, provided he get to hold her hand through all of it.


	6. 6: ●•Wild•●

Ikuya hadn't accounted for the part of (Y/n)'s job where she has to go to international award shows because she doesn't just work with Japanese artists and is actually gaining recognition in the Korean music world as well. He knows she's good from the few tracks she occasionally lets him listen to and the ones he found out from the internet were her productions, but he didn't realize that his girlfriend actually works with artists who have large international followings. 

It's insane to think about how many people (Y/n) has been reaching with her music. It's equally insane to think that this amazingly talented girl has decided that she wants to spend time and effort on a relationship with Ikuya. 

He has always wanted to be unordinary, but (Y/n) truly is, in every sense of the word, _extraordinary._

Musically, he's a dunce, but Ikuya wonders if her age and her level of success mean that she's a musical prodigy or something. 

The thought makes him feel a little, inadequate, he'll admit. It's hard not to feel like he isn't good enough for someone so talented, but Ikuya knows the only way to fix that is to throw himself into practice and improve enough to be able to stand at the stage where he will deem himself worthy of his amazing girlfriend. 

But, for now, he will support her with everything he has because Ikuya _is_ so very proud of all that she has achieved and her ambition to achieve so much more. He wants to become worthy of this girl; he wants to reach the world with her. 

Presently, support means a video call from (Y/n) in her dressing room where she's waiting to show him the final outcome of the impressively long process of hair and make-up styling. 

"Ready?" she asks, out of view of the camera so he's staring at a blank white wall instead. 

Ikuya nods, feeling like maybe he ought to be in more than just a faded T-shirt and sweatpants for this occasion, but it's too late now. "Ready," he tells her, but Ikuya finds that when it comes to most things involving (Y/n), he's usually less prepared than he thinks he is. 

And, as it turns out, this time is no different because the moment she steps into view, Ikuya's brain feels like it has melted and he sees huge 'ERROR' messages mentally and he isn't a hundred percent sure that he's even breathing. 

"Wow," he manages through all the biological chaos, and (Y/n) giggles which must mean that he's visibly a certified mess in the face of his girlfriend looking like a literal godess. "You look... wow." 

It's unfair that they aren't with each other when she's looking like _that_ because maybe he would've done a lot more than just trip over his words and only manage to get out 'wow' and it's various synonyms. He would have kissed the crimson stain right off her lips, until the blush on her cheeks was more than just artificial pigment, and just the thought of that makes heat rise to his own cheeks because he can't help what he imagines. 

In reality, Ikuya thinks it's also very likely that he wouldn't have been able to handle seeing her in person at all and would have fainted had he physically been in front her.

But he can picture sweeping his beautiful partner off her feet rather than debating an alternate universe where she finds out he's a bigger loser than she thought. 

Although, (Y/n) would probably find it cute that he's so in awe of her. She finds him cute no matter what he does, and on some days, it throws him for a loop but she just tells him not to worry and that it's a good thing. 

"Worthy of an award show?" (Y/n) spins, giving him full view of the black jumpsuit and the golden embellishments on the bodice. "It has a cape, but I can remove it if it gets in my way." She flaps the cape like wings, grin wide the whole time. "I feel like a modern Disney villain."

And now he's grinning because her excitement is adorable and he really does want to kiss her. 

Ikuya shifts to get more comfortable, fondness filling him in a momentary distraction from the fact that his heartbeat hasn't been regular since the beginning of the call. When will she stop making him feel so nervous? 

"You could wear anything and you would still look amazing," he says honestly, smiling back when she grins at him affectionately. "Everyone's gonna be blown away."

Compliments aren't a strong suit for him, but he tries his best because he wants her to know just how beautiful he thinks she is. 

(Y/n) sits down to properly speak to him. "I wish I could take you along." She sighs. 

Amused, he points out, "It's not like you'll be bored while watching performances and getting awards." 

"You don't know if I'll win tonight," she argues, lips twitching up. 

Ikuya waves dismissively. "Of course, you will." And he's sure she will because she deserves to with all the outstanding reviews of her work and her passion for it. The universe has to reward her somehow. 

"Well, I'll still be glad to come home," she says. "Two more days to seeing you." 

He frowns at the reminder, wishing the stupid weekend would just hurry up and get here so he could catch a break from his classes and spend some much needed time with his girlfriend. 

Maybe he's addicted to the feeling of drowning in her, but he wants to feel her in his arms again and have his heart race in spite of them having been together for months now. 

Hiyori thinks it's funny to see how whipped Ikuya is, but the latter feels no shame in admitting that his girlfriend drives him wild and it's one of his favorite things ever. 

It's so much easier to embrace the feeling than to fight it and deny what makes him happy. 

"Think I should do my makeup this way more often?" She's looking off at something in the distance and he decides it's probably a mirror. 

Ikuya tilts his head, thinking it over before shrugging. "Do whatever makes you feel best," he answers. "I think you look good either way and even without makeup. But at the end of the day, you feeling confident is a lot more important than my opinion." 

His answer makes her grin and sigh dramatically. 

"Could you get any more perfect, Ikuya?" she asks teasingly, chuckling when he whines in protest. "Seriously, though, I'm very lucky to have such a wonderful boyfriend." She smiles genuinely, but it's even more flustering for him. "I'll see you soon, Ikuya. Bye." 

He mutters a goodbye before the call is cut, falling back against his bed and groaning into the silence of his apartment. 

"How does she just say stuff like that?" he asks into thin air, not bothering to think about if he's asking himself or some unseen god. 

Warmth fills him, endearment and tenderness weaving under his skin in golden webs that make him feel like he may be glowing from the way his skin is tingling. Ikuya deems himself lucky to be feeling so smitten now when not too long ago he was so set on isolating himself. 

If he'd known sooner that this is what adoring someone felt like, Ikuya would have left his state of lonliness to find someone to hand his heart over to earlier. 

In hindsight, maybe it's a good thing. He's glad that (Y/n) is the first person who he got to trust with his heart. Perhaps college is considered late for a first relationship, but she doesn't make him feel like his inexperience is holding them back. 

The last time he'd felt remotely infatuated with someone had been in middle school when Ikuya had harbored a crush on Haruka (something he will never tell the black-haired boy because some things must be taken to the grave), and given how middle school had ended (on a very bad note for pretty much everyone), he had deemed all matters of love a colossal waste of time. 

He wonders what his high school self would have to say about him now. He'd probably call himself stupid, but it doesn't matter now. Ikuya has grown since then. He's trying to learn what it means to forgive-- his friends for mistakes made in the wake of youth, and himself for only being human. 

Yes, (Y/n) makes him question his own sanity for being so enthralled by her. She likes to fluster him, and his damn heartbeat won't calm down and it drives him mad because he hasn't ever felt so spellbound by someone.

But she's teaching him to allow himself to heal, and to love himself and the life he's building for himself. To be brave with his heart and entrust more people with the parts of him he has stubbornly kept to himself because (and she stresses this all the time when he's embraced in her arms) Ikuya deserves love-- from his friends and family, and from himself.

And he feels golden and warm, wondering if maybe this is what it feels like to be a little tipsy. 

Or maybe this is what it feels like to be falling in love.


	7. 7. ♤•Lion•♤

Pursuing a career as a professional athlete and aiming to stand on the global platform is not an easy dream to chase by far. Certainly not when it feels like there is always someone who is better, faster and stronger, no matter how much he improves. It's hard to face that fact on the best of days, let alone the worst.

Ikuya can't imagine anything else. He loves doing what he's doing; getting to swim and compete and win is all he can ask for.

Life is pretty damn sweet.

That's not to say he's satisfied. No, Ikuya has always reached for _more_ and he isn't gonna stop until there's nothing to ask for. His ambition and will are greater than ever to become the best, and he'll probably never give up thirsting after victory because competition in the world of sports never really ends. 

But he _is_ in a good place at life right now. He has grown a lot over the past year in almost all aspects. Ikuya is no longer alone, the water doesn't try to fight him anymore, his times have been consistently improving, and school hasn't totally been kicking his butt. 

And he's the lucky, lucky boyfriend of the monster rookie producer, (L/n) (Y/n), who has been getting a lot of attention in the music industry because she is apparently incapable of making a bad song. 

He feels himself begin to smile at the thought of her, fighting the turn of his lips because the people on the bus will not hesitate to judge him for it. Even if he has gotten a little more confident, he isn't quite ready for facing that yet. 

A year into being in a relationship with (Y/n), and Ikuya couldn't be happier and more in love. It's a warm, giddy feeling knowing that he has someone to go home to after a long day of practice. Or to know that she's looking forward to finally getting to him after work, and that the thought of him pushes her through tiring hours at the agency. They don't really live together officially, but they've inadvertently settled into a routine of switching between spending nights at the other's apartment halfway through the week. 

Monday to Wednesday at Ikuya's and then Thursday to Sunday at (Y/n)'s unless their schedules conflict their unspoken arrangement. 

Ikuya would love to feel like that all the time and actually move in together, but he knows that he isn't ready for that just yet, and neither is (Y/n). They have their individual careers to work on and they still have so much time before a big step is required. Just like with everything else in their relationship, they'll take their time and work it out together when they're both ready. 

Natsuya will occasionally tease him about taking things so slow, but his relationship with (Y/n) is so important to Ikuya and he wants to do it right. He wants to take time to cherish every bit of it and pour all of his soul into it so that he doesn't have to look back one day and regret doing injustice to something so precious.

When he enters his apartment, he finds it shrouded in the faintly warm glow of his night-lamp, and he approaches the source of the light with careful footsteps, just in case his lover has already fallen asleep. 

"I'm home," he whispers softly to the lump of blankets, knowing she's awake by the restless shifting of her form even though the covers are pulled over her head.

She shifts some more, and he watches in amusement while he sheds his thick jacket and woolen scarf. "Welcome back," she mumbles finally, her voice muffled.

Rolling his eyes, he prods her form so she'll scoot over, tugging pointedly to get her to release some of the covers for him, managing to pull them off her face and settle down beside her. Ikuya basks in her warmth, instantly moving to pull her closer and bury his nose in the crook of her neck.

"Cold," (Y/n) hisses, trying to push his face away in protest, but Ikuya clings on stubbornly and eventually she gives in. "How disrespectful," she grumbles, but settles neatly against him so they're as close as they can get. 

He hums, lightly kissing her neck to placate his whining girlfriend. When she squirms at the sudden touch, he grins and kisses her again, laughing when she smacks his arm. "You're so warm, I can't help it." He shrugs, but he knows she isn't buying it.

"You must've had a good day if you're being so bold," she remarks, turning on her side so she can face him, her hands finding their way to his hair and he closes his eyes at the soothing touch of her fingertips against his scalp. 

Ikuya makes a noise of confirmation. "I beat my own time again," he provides, cracking an eye open lazily to catch the grin she sends his way. "Also," he continues, "Natsuya-nii called. He's finally asked Nao-senpai on an official date."

"Shit," (Y/n) comments, and he snorts in response. "Honestly, they could probably skip right to marriage at this point."

He nods. "Probably, but Natsuya-nii says he wants to do this properly." Ikuya pauses and frowns. "Which makes him a huge hypocrite because he's always teasing me for going too slow with you."

There's a bout of silence that makes him open his eyes, and he finds (Y/n) with pursed lips, looking like she wants to start laughing. 

"Does he know?" she asks finally, and Ikuya instantly flushes.

"No," he states bluntly. "I'm not going to discuss _that_ with my brother. Ever."

Now she really is laughing, and he smiles a little too as he feels her skin get warmer and her form shake in his hold. "You're so cute, Ikuya," she says finally, lightly kissing his nose. 

He pulls away from her embrace, face hidden by his hands as he rolls onto his back and shakes his head. "Am not," he denies, wishing his cheeks wouldn't feel so warm. He certainly isn't cold now and all his boldness from earlier seems to have evaporated along with the autumn chill that had been clinging to him. 

(Y/n) attempts to disguise her laughter, but it's a poor attempt and Ikuya glares at her for it. She quietens her giggles and wraps her arms around him again, practically laying on top of him as she rests her chin on his chest and pulls his hands away from his face to give him a sweet kiss of compensation. 

"I love you," she murmurs to him, voice toned down and smile tinged with adoration that tugs at something deep in his chest. 

Ikuya has never been particularly religious, and he doesn't quite know if he believes in abstract ideas of heaven and hell. But if there really is heaven somewhere out there, he thinks it must feel like this. With the warmth of his lover in his arms and the taste of her love on his lips, he can almost believe in paradise for a second. 

He blinks, his eyes finally catching the fabric of the t-shirt she's wearing. Ikuya's eyebrows rise. "Isn't that mine?"

"Not anymore," she sings, propping herself up with her forearms on either side of his head.

Chuckling, Ikuya tugs at the collar of the shirt, pulling her down to press a lingering kiss to her lips. "I love you, too."


End file.
